Awkward & Awesome: Part 2

Awkward:
-When you go to a store and take off your jacket to try on a different one, and one of the employees starts hanging yours up because they think someone returned it.
-Playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit on a date and you know absolutely nothing about Star Wars while the other three are completely obsessed with it, and they act like you're dumb because you don't know anything.
-Breaking Dawn Part 1...enough said.
-When the little girl sitting next to you on the plane thinks your brother is your boyfriend.
-Running through the airport like in Home Alone because you are running late for your flight.
-When your phone vibrates really loud during someone's final presentation and the professor is sitting right next to you.

Awesome:
-Finishing your first semester of college.
-Turning 19!
-Getting a dozen light-up cups and a helium tank in the mail from your roommate's mom.
-Going home and getting to hang out with some of your best friends that you haven't seen in three months.
-When you're put on the spot in sacrament meeting to play "Ring Out, Wild Bells," everyone stares at you awkwardly waiting for you to announce if you can play it or not (which you can't, by the way, but you don't want to admit it), and then all of a sudden your roommate comes up and saves you by playing the left hand while you play the right hand. Thanks Jessica :)

Looking Back

These past couple of weeks have been a major learning experience for me. I've been wanting to blog about it for a few days now, but I just had no idea what to say or where to start. So please bear with me as I try to get this out.

I've always known that trials were actually blessings. Two years ago I was going through something that was very difficult for me. And even though afterwards I looked back and thought it was silly, it still mattered to me at the time. As I was going through it, I wondered what the purpose was. I just didn't get it. I didn't see how it could benefit me at all.

Afterwards, I started to realize blessings that came from it. Nothing huge, but I began to understand why I had to go through that particular thing. However, there were times where I still wondered if it was necessary or if I would have been the same without going through that experience.

And then, it clicked.

Last week, everything came together. It all made sense. And last night, I was thinking a lot about it, and I realized some things.

First of all, I feel so much stronger. Two years ago, I felt weak. I had very little experience with pain, or loss of friendship, or anything like that. So when I first began experiencing those things, it was hard. I didn't know if I could do it. I turned to the Lord. And through Him, I was strengthened. Everything ended up being just fine.

Now, two years later, as I look back at some of the trials I've been through this semester, I am surprised with how strong I am. Two years ago, I would not have been able to handle some of the things I am handling now. But it was all those times of hurt and pain that made me the person I am today.

The second thing I realized is that I am finally in control of my own life. I am in charge of my own happiness, and I'm not letting other people or the things that happen around me bring me down. But two years ago, I did. I let the situation take control of me. I was't in control of my own happiness. And because of that, I was unhappy for a while.

At this point in time, I could react exactly how I have in the past. But I'm smarter than that. I'm more mature. And last night, when I realized that something that could have really upset me didn't at all, I felt amazing. I was finally free. I was finally my own person and in control of my own emotions.

Happiness is a choice. I said that a lot to one of my friends this past year, but I don't think I've ever actually experienced it for myself until now. I can honestly say that I am happy with my life. I am happy with who I am. I know I am where I need to be and that I'm doing what's right. Yes, there have been times this semester where I have messed up. There have been times when I did something I knew I shouldn't have. I'm not perfect. But those experiences have taught me so many things about myself that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. And I am thankful for them.

Sorry this post was so deep. I just needed to get my thoughts out somewhere, and this seemed like the best place, especially since I'm working on sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. I don't want to be a closed book anymore.

Hello December

So I'm not really sure what to say about this past week. It's definitely had its share of ups and downs. But through it all I'm staying positive and happy and I'm not letting anything bring me down. Experiences from the past have taught me that when life throws something at you, take it with a smile and stay strong. Plus, this week has definitely been way better than it could have been. For example, Friday night I was feeling kind of down because all of my roommates had their own plans except for me, but then I got invited to go ice skating with three guys from my ward and it turned out to be a pretty fun night! Then on Saturday I went to the temple with two of my roommates and it was a great experience. This is the first time I've been since I've come to college, and it was so nice to have that Spirit again and just be able to escape the world for a couple of hours.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I decided I'm definitely going to stay here for spring semester. I've also been thinking about my major. Journalism is what I want to do, but I'm still not entirely committed to it and I'm keeping my mind open to other possibilities. And even though I really like journalism, it's hard for me to decide which aspect of it I want to focus on. I enjoy writing, editing, and designing, but I can't take classes geared to all three. But I still have like a year to figure all that out, so it's not that big of a deal right now.

Life is pretty good right now, and I only have four days of class left! Yay! Then I have finals, but for some reason I'm not really feeling stressed out at all. Maybe it's because I've lost a lot of motivation and I just want this semester to be over already, but I don't know. The only class I'm really concerned about is psychology, but I'm doing fine in the rest. So we'll see how everything goes. Also, I can't believe it is December already! I know I say this all the time, but time is going by so fast. I guess that's what happens when you're so busy all the time!

Jessica

So this is my roommate Jessica:

She's pretty cool so I figured I would make a post about her since I need four more by Tuesday. Yay.

Jessica is awesome. I don't know what I would do without her. Honestly. I would probably be failing my calculus class right now if it weren't for her. She's a freaking math genius (she's the only freshman T.A. that works in the math lab). I feel bad because I ask her for help like every day, but she's always willing to help me with anything and she's a really good teacher.

Jessica can speak Russian. Pretty cool, right? She loves learning things, especially new languages. She's also really good at music. Even though I can play the piano pretty well, I'm not very good at music theory, so she's (hopefully) going to teach me.

Funny story: so one night it was about two o'clock, and what do you do that late when you don't feel like going to bed? That's right, you cut your own hair. Caitlin had trimmed her bangs earlier that day by herself, and then my other roommate Emily decided she wanted bangs. So she got some scissors, went in the bathroom, and after a few snips she had some nice bangs. Well, after looking at old pictures of when Jessica had bangs, we decided that she should cut her hair too. However, instead of following Emily's example, it took us about an hour to convince her to do it. Finally, after much pressure, she went in the bathroom and started snipping, but got nervous and cut one side shorter than the other. Oops. I'm sure it wasn't funny to her at the time, but now that they've grown out a bit they look super cute (as you can tell from the photo).

Here are a few more random things about Jessica: she is six feet tall, she loves chocolate (especially dark chocolate), and her favorite phrase is "I don't know." We tease her because she says it so much (mainly because she always DOES know), but it's actually really funny :)