Awkward & Awesome: Part 2

Awkward:
-When you go to a store and take off your jacket to try on a different one, and one of the employees starts hanging yours up because they think someone returned it.
-Playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit on a date and you know absolutely nothing about Star Wars while the other three are completely obsessed with it, and they act like you're dumb because you don't know anything.
-Breaking Dawn Part 1...enough said.
-When the little girl sitting next to you on the plane thinks your brother is your boyfriend.
-Running through the airport like in Home Alone because you are running late for your flight.
-When your phone vibrates really loud during someone's final presentation and the professor is sitting right next to you.

Awesome:
-Finishing your first semester of college.
-Turning 19!
-Getting a dozen light-up cups and a helium tank in the mail from your roommate's mom.
-Going home and getting to hang out with some of your best friends that you haven't seen in three months.
-When you're put on the spot in sacrament meeting to play "Ring Out, Wild Bells," everyone stares at you awkwardly waiting for you to announce if you can play it or not (which you can't, by the way, but you don't want to admit it), and then all of a sudden your roommate comes up and saves you by playing the left hand while you play the right hand. Thanks Jessica :)

Looking Back

These past couple of weeks have been a major learning experience for me. I've been wanting to blog about it for a few days now, but I just had no idea what to say or where to start. So please bear with me as I try to get this out.

I've always known that trials were actually blessings. Two years ago I was going through something that was very difficult for me. And even though afterwards I looked back and thought it was silly, it still mattered to me at the time. As I was going through it, I wondered what the purpose was. I just didn't get it. I didn't see how it could benefit me at all.

Afterwards, I started to realize blessings that came from it. Nothing huge, but I began to understand why I had to go through that particular thing. However, there were times where I still wondered if it was necessary or if I would have been the same without going through that experience.

And then, it clicked.

Last week, everything came together. It all made sense. And last night, I was thinking a lot about it, and I realized some things.

First of all, I feel so much stronger. Two years ago, I felt weak. I had very little experience with pain, or loss of friendship, or anything like that. So when I first began experiencing those things, it was hard. I didn't know if I could do it. I turned to the Lord. And through Him, I was strengthened. Everything ended up being just fine.

Now, two years later, as I look back at some of the trials I've been through this semester, I am surprised with how strong I am. Two years ago, I would not have been able to handle some of the things I am handling now. But it was all those times of hurt and pain that made me the person I am today.

The second thing I realized is that I am finally in control of my own life. I am in charge of my own happiness, and I'm not letting other people or the things that happen around me bring me down. But two years ago, I did. I let the situation take control of me. I was't in control of my own happiness. And because of that, I was unhappy for a while.

At this point in time, I could react exactly how I have in the past. But I'm smarter than that. I'm more mature. And last night, when I realized that something that could have really upset me didn't at all, I felt amazing. I was finally free. I was finally my own person and in control of my own emotions.

Happiness is a choice. I said that a lot to one of my friends this past year, but I don't think I've ever actually experienced it for myself until now. I can honestly say that I am happy with my life. I am happy with who I am. I know I am where I need to be and that I'm doing what's right. Yes, there have been times this semester where I have messed up. There have been times when I did something I knew I shouldn't have. I'm not perfect. But those experiences have taught me so many things about myself that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. And I am thankful for them.

Sorry this post was so deep. I just needed to get my thoughts out somewhere, and this seemed like the best place, especially since I'm working on sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. I don't want to be a closed book anymore.

Hello December

So I'm not really sure what to say about this past week. It's definitely had its share of ups and downs. But through it all I'm staying positive and happy and I'm not letting anything bring me down. Experiences from the past have taught me that when life throws something at you, take it with a smile and stay strong. Plus, this week has definitely been way better than it could have been. For example, Friday night I was feeling kind of down because all of my roommates had their own plans except for me, but then I got invited to go ice skating with three guys from my ward and it turned out to be a pretty fun night! Then on Saturday I went to the temple with two of my roommates and it was a great experience. This is the first time I've been since I've come to college, and it was so nice to have that Spirit again and just be able to escape the world for a couple of hours.

I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I decided I'm definitely going to stay here for spring semester. I've also been thinking about my major. Journalism is what I want to do, but I'm still not entirely committed to it and I'm keeping my mind open to other possibilities. And even though I really like journalism, it's hard for me to decide which aspect of it I want to focus on. I enjoy writing, editing, and designing, but I can't take classes geared to all three. But I still have like a year to figure all that out, so it's not that big of a deal right now.

Life is pretty good right now, and I only have four days of class left! Yay! Then I have finals, but for some reason I'm not really feeling stressed out at all. Maybe it's because I've lost a lot of motivation and I just want this semester to be over already, but I don't know. The only class I'm really concerned about is psychology, but I'm doing fine in the rest. So we'll see how everything goes. Also, I can't believe it is December already! I know I say this all the time, but time is going by so fast. I guess that's what happens when you're so busy all the time!

Jessica

So this is my roommate Jessica:

She's pretty cool so I figured I would make a post about her since I need four more by Tuesday. Yay.

Jessica is awesome. I don't know what I would do without her. Honestly. I would probably be failing my calculus class right now if it weren't for her. She's a freaking math genius (she's the only freshman T.A. that works in the math lab). I feel bad because I ask her for help like every day, but she's always willing to help me with anything and she's a really good teacher.

Jessica can speak Russian. Pretty cool, right? She loves learning things, especially new languages. She's also really good at music. Even though I can play the piano pretty well, I'm not very good at music theory, so she's (hopefully) going to teach me.

Funny story: so one night it was about two o'clock, and what do you do that late when you don't feel like going to bed? That's right, you cut your own hair. Caitlin had trimmed her bangs earlier that day by herself, and then my other roommate Emily decided she wanted bangs. So she got some scissors, went in the bathroom, and after a few snips she had some nice bangs. Well, after looking at old pictures of when Jessica had bangs, we decided that she should cut her hair too. However, instead of following Emily's example, it took us about an hour to convince her to do it. Finally, after much pressure, she went in the bathroom and started snipping, but got nervous and cut one side shorter than the other. Oops. I'm sure it wasn't funny to her at the time, but now that they've grown out a bit they look super cute (as you can tell from the photo).

Here are a few more random things about Jessica: she is six feet tall, she loves chocolate (especially dark chocolate), and her favorite phrase is "I don't know." We tease her because she says it so much (mainly because she always DOES know), but it's actually really funny :)

Bambi

For my writing class, we were required to write a personal narrative story about an experience in our life where we learned something or changed, and then post it on our blog. Even though I enjoy writing, this just was not my style, and I had a really hard time deciding what to write about. But if you feel so inclined you can go ahead and read it...

Bambi

           It was a blistering, hot day in May of 2009 as I lied in my backyard on the grass next to her. She looked at me with her deep brown eyes and wagged her tail coated in that reddish-brown fur. She licked me happily as I pet her and rubbed her stomach. That was her favorite. She jumped up and followed me as I walked back to the house.

            That night I walked outside and grabbed her small, shiny dish. Every night, she would wait impatiently by the back door and squirm and squeal as I emptied a can of her favorite dog food onto her dish. Whenever I walked back outside to give it to her, she could barely contain her excitement as she leaped up and down.

            However, this night was different. As I walked back out to give her her food, she lied quietly a couple of feet from the door. She got up, smelled the food, took a bite, and then lied back down.

            “What’s wrong, Bambi?” I asked confusedly. “Aren’t you hungry?” I thought maybe she just wanted some privacy, so I left her to herself. However, when I returned the next morning, all of her food was still there.

            After a few nights of the same routine, I realized something was wrong. This was not normal for her. After 12 years of feeding her, she had never reacted this way to her food.

            It was a Friday morning when my mom and I loaded her into the trunk of the SUV and drove her to the vet. We walked inside with her, sat down, and waited for her name to be called. A few minutes later a lady came out and said they were ready for us. We followed her into a small room, and Bambi lied down on the cold tile.

            “So what’s wrong with her?” the lady asked. We explained to her the problem as Bambi looked around confused. The lady then proceeded to examine her while we waited. After a few minutes, we received the diagnosis. Bambi had anemia, a common disease in older dogs where they develop too many white blood cells and not enough red blood cells. She had probably six months to a year left to live, which seemed way too short at the time.

            Over the next week she began to improve. She began eating more, and she was acting like her normal self again. I was relieved and thought maybe I wouldn’t be losing her any time soon. I was able to take her for walks around the neighborhood again and play with her in the yard. It was like nothing had ever been wrong.

            One day she was acting more tired than usual, so instead of taking her for a walk I decided to just sit with her in the front yard. She lied on the warm grass next to me as I stroked her and talked to her. She was the only one in the world who would never judge me and would always think I was perfect no matter what. We sat there for about a half hour, and I thought about how horrible it would be to lose her.

            The next morning I woke up at eight o'clock and got ready to go to piano lessons and then work. As I was walking down the hall to the garage, I saw my parents. It looked like something was terribly wrong.

            “Hayley, Bambi’s not doing too well,” my mom said. “She can barely even move by herself. She’s going to die today.”

            My whole world stopped. No, it couldn’t be happening. She had been fine just the day before, other than being a little tired. The vet said she had six months to a year left to live, and it had only been two weeks. This just couldn’t be possible.

            I walked over to the back door and stepped outside to see her curled up on the hot pavement with her eyes closed. I walked over and caressed her soft fur as she opened her dark eyes to look at me. I could see death in them; she knew exactly what was happening, and that was what confirmed to me that this whole thing was real.

            I tried to hold my tears back. My parents came outside, and we had family prayer with her. As my dad said the prayer, he started crying in the middle of it. My dad almost never cries. Once the prayer ended, I got in my car and drove the 15-minute drive to my piano teacher’s house. I was able to contain myself for 30 minutes and basically ran to my car once the lesson was over. There was no way I was going to work that day.

            Once I got home, I went straight to my room and let it all out. After a while, I called my best friend, Caitlin, and she comforted me and talked to me about how her dog had died a few months before. I was feeling a little better, so I decided to go out and see her for one last time.

            She was just lying there on the grass, so lifeless. She looked at me with those deathly eyes again. I pet her gently and whispered to her. After about 10 minutes, I knew I needed to say goodbye. This was it. I got up slowly and walked back to the house, turning around to meet her eyes for one last time.

            Once inside, I went straight back to my room and just lied on my bed and cried. At about noon, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I got up and opened it. My mom was standing there and she had tears in her eyes.

            “She’s gone,” she said shakily.

            I walked out to the backyard. Her body lay there so stiff. I sat next to her and stroked her for one last time. Even though she wasn’t there, I didn’t care. It was all I had left. My dad came out, picked her up, and took her away. I was never to see her again.

            I had never up until that moment really experienced death of a loved one. I felt so empty, like a part of me was missing. Yes, she was just a dog, but she had been there for me almost my whole life. I was her idol, and she had loved me with a perfect love.

            Over the years the pain has dulled, but I still miss her dearly. Every time I come home from college or from a vacation, I see her jumping up and down at the gate and barking like it’s the happiest day of her life. Whenever I walk by the back door, I see her outside wagging her tail impatiently and whimpering. As I sit in my room and write this story, I see her beneath my window looking up at me and pleading with me to come play with her. And sometimes I do. Sometimes I do.

Home Sweet Home

So Tuesday night I got to fly home for Thanksgiving break, and it has been pretty good so far! But the time has gone by way too fast. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of homework to get done over the break, so I haven't had as much time for other things that I've wanted to do. But luckily I'll be back in a few weeks for Christmas break :)

As I've been home, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking about how much I've changed and all the things that have happened since I've been at college. It's crazy to think about how fast the past three months have flown by. I feel like I was just here, packing up all my stuff and saying goodbye for the last time before I got on the plane to Utah.

And even though I love being home, I'm kind of ready to go back. Weird, right? I remember when I first got to my apartment in Utah, I told myself that that was not my home and it never would be. But now I feel the complete opposite. I kind of miss it.

Here is a list of some of my favorite things that have happened since I've been home:
-Getting to hang out with one of my best friends, Destini :)
-Driving!
-Having a long conversation with one of my good friends, Chris
-Getting to see my cousins
-The amazing weather :)
-Not having to make all of my food
-Skyping friends late into the night
-Sleeping in super late
-Playing our grand piano :)

I'm Thankful For...

In honor of Thanksgiving, I decided to make a post about some things that I'm thankful for. Here are ten things that I don't know if I could live without (in no particular order):

1. My Family
I'm so grateful for my family. I'm thankful that my parents raised me the way they did and had such high expectations for me. It has made me the person that I am today. I'm glad they pushed me in school, made me go to church, and made me keep taking piano lessons even though I begged and begged them to let me stop until I was about 15 (they told me I could stop as soon as I learned every single hymn in the hymnbook...yeah, didn't happen). I'm also thankful for my brother and the example he is to me. He's always been there for me, especially these last few months as I've started college. Also, if you haven't already noticed, I'm kind of spoiled. You can thank my parents for that (I know I am!).

2. Chocolate
I think pretty much anyone who knows me can agree that I'm a chocoholic. But I can't help it! I honestly don't know what I would do without it. It's what keeps me sane, especially after a long, stressful day.

3. Sleep
Yes, I know it's hard to believe that I actually like sleep with the amount that I've been getting lately. But it's true! I love sleep. I probably won't be saying that when I'm still up at 4 in the morning, but just know that it's the truth. Sleep is awesome.

4. My Roommates
I seriously couldn't have asked for better roommates. We all get along, and we have so much fun together. I was kind of nervous before this semester started because I have a hard time making new friends, especially with people who are different from me, so I wasn't sure how it was going to go. But I love them! They are the best and have helped make college so much better for me.

5. Music
I love music. It's so calming and stress-relieving. Sometimes I like to just sit and listen to music and think. It makes everything so much better.

6. Rain
Rain is absolutely amazing. It is so beautiful and just makes me happy. It doesn't rain a lot in Arizona, so when it does I cherish it. Maybe one day I'll live in Washington and then I can enjoy the rain all the time :)

7. My best friend, Caitlin
Caitlin made a post all about me, so I feel like I owe her. So I'll make this short and sweet. Caitlin is an awesome best friend and roommate. I don't know what I would do without her. Even though there have been many times when we've wanted to kill each other, we're basically sisters and can pretty much talk about anything. I'm so glad she wanted to come to BYU and share a room with me :)

8. Piano
I love playing the piano. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't really start enjoying it until I was about 15, but I kept playing because my parents made me. Then something clicked, and I just always loved it. It helps me relieve stress and it's a way for me to express myself. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't play.

9. Education
I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to receive an education at BYU. It really is an amazing experience that not everyone gets. Whenever I feel like being lazy or not going to class, I think about all the people who wish they were here but aren't and all the money being paid for me to go here. I need to take advantage of all the educational opportunities I have because I know some day I will be able to use them to benefit others.

10. The Gospel of Jesus Christ
I decided to save the best for last. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It really has shaped my life and brought me so much happiness. I have a very strong testimony of this gospel and wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.

19...

So I'm pretty much a failure at posting on here when I say I'm going to...oops.

Well, this past week has been pretty good! The first few days were a little stressful just because I was finishing up a couple papers and a few other things, but after that it's been great. Thursday was my birthday and I finally turned 19! It's so weird that I'm in my last year of being a teenager. I feel like I'm growing up so fast. My roommates decorated the apartment and made me a cake decorated as a Pastaroni box (I wasn't lying when I said I was living off of that stuff...). It was awesome. We had a party that night, and then afterward we went to the midnight premier of Breaking Dawn. It was fun to go, but the movie was pretty bad. Probably one of the most awkward movies I've seen, haha.

Friday night we went to a dance, and then it snowed again! Even though I always complain about the snow and it being so cold, I secretly like it a little bit. It is really pretty, as long as I don't have to be in it. And as long as people don't throw snowballs at my head... :P But despite the snow, and the cold, and the lack of sleep I was running on, Friday night was a good night :)

I'm really looking forward to this next week. I just need to get through Monday and Tuesday, and then I get to go home! It will be so nice to catch up on sleep and homework (mainly sleep though!). I'm not even going to talk about the horrible sleeping patterns I've gotten into (but you could always just look at the time I'm posting this...). But I guess that's what happens when you're a freshman in college. As I'm getting ready to go home, I've been thinking about how much I've changed since I've been at college. I keep thinking about how different I'm going to feel once I get home. I'm going to view things differently, and act differently. But hopefully in a good way. Hopefully people will be able to see how much I've grown and learned in the past three months. And hopefully I'll be able to accept that I'm not who I was before and move on.

It may sound silly, but another thing that I'm really excited for is to drive again! I love driving, and I miss my dark blue Volkswagen Rabbit. I really just want to go on a drive by myself and listen to the radio and do some thinking. It's been too long since I've been able to do that.

Well, that's about all for now. And I'm really not lying this time when I say I'm going to post a few more times this week. I've already got some things in mind :)

November

I can't believe November is already halfway over. It's crazy! I love November. The weather is pretty nice (at least in Arizona it is...not so much here), it's my birthday, and it's Thanksgiving! Plus, it means the end of the semester and Christmas are near :)

So this past week has been pretty crazy. Lots going on. The library and I have become pretty good friends this last week. But I got a lot accomplished and it felt great. Hopefully this coming up week shouldn't be too bad.

My weekend was pretty busy too. On Friday my parents came up and so I finally got to go shopping for winter clothes! Yay! Then we went to dinner that night at Brick Oven. On Saturday we went shopping again, and then after they left I went to the football game. It was freezing! We ended up leaving during the third quarter because it was so cold.

I'm pretty excited for the next two weeks, mainly because Thursday is my birthday and next week I get to go home for Thanksgiving! Woohoo! I remember coming to college and I didn't know how I was going to go so long without being home and seeing my friends and family. But the time has seriously flown by so fast! I remember people always telling me that college was way better than high school, and I wasn't really sure whether to believe them or not. But it's true! Yes, there's a lot more work, and it can get pretty stressful at times, but I've had so many amazing experiences here and met so many awesome people that it far exceeds my high school experience so far.

Anyway, I'm super excited to be home and sleep in my own bed, see my friends and family, and enjoy the nice weather! Seriously, living in Utah makes me appreciate Arizona so much more. Another thing I'm really looking forward to is eating good food! I've pretty much been living off of Pastaroni since I've been here, which is no bueno. So I'm pretty excited for that :)

Well I'm going to try to post a couple more times this week (I feel like I have to say that or it won't actually happen). Just a heads up :)

Awkward & Awesome

So my roommate gave me this idea that every week or so I should post a list of "Awkwards and Awesomes" on my blog, so I thought I'd start now with some from this semester so far. Enjoy :)

Awkward:

-When you're walking to class in the rain, and a random guy comes up and stands under your umbrella, smiles at you creepily, and then walks away.
-When you're hanging out with one of your best friends for the last time in two years, and you throw up in a parking lot. Good to know that's their last memory of me. Ha

-When you say something about someone, it gets written on the quote wall, and the next day that person comes over, reads it, and knows it's about them.
-When you drop your toothbrush on the floor while you're in the middle of brushing your teeth. Sick.

-When your calculus professor asks you what grade you got on the exam and you don't know because you didn't go to lab the previous day when they handed them back...oops.
-When a guy in your ward who works for maintenance comes over to unplug your tub drain, and it's so gross that the only thing he can say when he sees it is, "Lovely."

-Weighing yourself and finding out that you've gained at least 10 pounds since you've been at college...

Awesome:

-Getting to see the prophet!

-When you go to the creamery and accidentally give the cashier your friend's pen because the store's pen stopped working while you were signing a receipt, and then going back a week later and a different cashier hands you your friend's pen so you get it back :)
-Getting a package full of chocolate in the mail from your mom!
-Ice cream! ;)
-Almost beating Caitlin at Just Dance.
-Seeing your FHE brother in the library and you end up talking for an hour when you should be working on a paper.
-Jamba Juice
-Watching Veggie Tales for the first time and you're almost 19...I don't know if this is more awkward or awesome.

-Finding out the scale was broken and you actually haven't gained any weight...I think.

What's Up

So the past few weeks things have been getting pretty crazy, and the next couple of weeks are only going to get worse. I have an 8 to 10 page paper and a 5 page paper due within the next two weeks, and I haven't started either of them yet. Awesome.

So Saturday night I went to a Halloween dance and decided last minute to dress up as a hippie. I had a peace sign painted on my face and a necklace with a peace sign on it but you can't really tell from the picture.

Anyway, Tuesday night I got to register for classes for next semester. I've had the classes I want to take planned out for a while, so I wasn't stressing about that at all. However, I was stressing about getting into my two communications classes because the number of available seats kept going down, and by that day there were only 10 to 20 spots left in each class. So I was kind of freaking out about that. Then the server was having major issues while we were trying to register and my roommates and I were freaking out, so instead we just decided to play loud music and have a dance party in our room. Total stress reliever. Anyway, everything turned out fine, and I got all of the classes I wanted. So the classes I'm taking next semester are Book of Mormon, Principles of Biology, American Heritage, Media Writing, and Principles of Journalism. I'm pretty lucky that I got into Media Writing because an hour or two later it was completely full, and the next day in my communications class I heard people talking about how they couldn't get in. So that was kind of a confirmation to me that this really is what I should be doing. I also decided that I really want to minor in Editing. It's something that I really enjoy, and it would go perfectly with my major. So I'm probably going to start taking classes for that during spring semester if I decide to stay.

Well that's about all for now. Life is good, and it's finally the weekend! Woohoo! :)

An Example of the Believers

This morning at the weekly BYU devotional I had the opportunity to hear from President Thomas S. Monson. Usually I just watch the devotionals on TV from my apartment, and when I heard the prophet was coming to BYU to speak to us I was trying to decide whether to actually go or to just watch it at home like I usually do. If I went, I would have had to get there early to get a good seat, which meant losing an hour of homework time. However, I finally decided I would just go, and I'm so thankful that I did.

I got there about 45 minutes early and the room was already filling up fast. Luckily, my roommates had saved me a seat, so I didn't have to sit too far away. As it got closer to the time that the prophet was going to enter, I could tell everyone was starting to get a little anxious. The moment that President Monson actually walked into the room was indescribable. Everyone shot up from their seats and it instantly fell silent. It was incredible. You could feel the Spirit so strong. It haven't felt it that strong in a long time. Just being in the same room as the one and only true prophet on earth was one of the greatest feelings ever and completely strengthened my testimony of him and this church. I can't believe I almost gave that up just to have a little bit of extra time to work on homework.

The focus of President Monson's talk was being an example of the believers. I'm just going to share with you some of the notes that I took because I feel like he says it way better than I can.

-Be thou an example of the believers.

-We are all given the light of Christ. Do not let outside influences extinguish that light.

-We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

-Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time.

-You are more than what you have become. Remember who you are. (he quoted The Lion King :D )

I love President Monson, especially his sense of humor. As he walked out, he shook his hand up and down as if he were shaking all of our hands. You could just tell how happy he was and the love he had for all of us and for the gospel. In my eyes, he is the greatest example of the believers we have on earth today, and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to hear from him this morning.

Three Days Without Media

So for my communications class we were required to go on a "media fast," where we had to pick three consecutive days to go without using any electronic media, like my phone, laptop, iPod, radio, TV, etc. So I decided to go on my fast this past weekend, starting Friday at midnight until this morning at midnight.

At first it was kind of difficult to get used to the fact that I was not allowed to have my phone on me or use my laptop. I'm pretty sure you've all had that feeling where you forget your phone somewhere and it just drives you crazy because you're so used to having it on you. Well imagine three days of that. Awesome.

But honestly, after the first day it really wasn't that bad. Maybe it was because I was busy doing other things, such as going to a football game, or cleaning my apartment like crazy before a cleaning check, but I realized something during my media fast. It is pretty much impossible to get away from the media completely. Even though I personally was not using it, it was all around me. My roommates, friends, and pretty much everyone else around me were connected to the media, and because of that I think I still had that feeling of being connected. It was also kind of funny because people kept trying to figure out ways for me to beat the system, like they could check my phone for me, or they could play music loud enough for me to hear, etc. Really? The point of this was not to beat the system! Otherwise I just wouldn't have even done it in the first place. I really wanted to experience what it was like to not use the media and to figure out the effects it actually had on my life.

One of the biggest annoyances of the media fast for me was that I never knew what time it was. I almost always use my phone or laptop to find out what time it is, so I'm pretty sure I annoyed everyone by constantly asking what time it was. There were a couple times I actually had to just guess what time it was from what was going on around me and hope that I got to class on time. Another thing that drove me crazy was that I could not listen to music. Because of this, I practiced the piano way more than usual this weekend, which was really nice. It made me appreciate music so much more and the positive effect that it can have on me.

Although I was going crazy a little bit, there were definitely some good things about the media fast as well. First of all, I feel like I talked more with those around me because that was the only way I could communicate. Second, I realized I really don't need my phone or laptop (including Facebook) to survive. In fact, at some times it was really nice not to have to worry about it. Yes, it was fun receiving 17 texts after three days (even though the majority of those were from my roommates...sigh), but it's definitely not a necessity or anywhere near it. It's way more fun actually talking and doing things with the people around you instead of focusing your energy into typing a message into a little electronic device that can't even capture your emotions, reactions, tone, or anything else. Real communication is way better.

So, to sum it all up, I'm really glad that my professor made me go without media for three days. Crazy, I know, but seriously. I'm going to try to do better about spending less time on Facebook, and more time doing productive things, getting more sleep, and interacting with real people.

True Beauty

I know I've been bad about posting on my blog recently, but I'm going to try to do better. For my writing class, we have to write a research paper about a certain issue that has to do with new media. At first that kind of excited me (not the writing a paper part, but the new media part) because it goes right along with my major, and I thought it would be a great experience for me to get some more knowledge about what I am going to be getting myself into. However, I realized I was having a hard time coming up with something to write about that I was also passionate about. After spending a lot of time trying to come up with ideas for a topic to write about, I think I've finally figured out what it is that I feel strongly about that that I could write an eight to ten page paper on.

The topic I chose is: How do magazines affect women's appearances? For example, their clothes, makeup, cosmetic surgeries, eating disorders, etc. I may end up choosing one of those specific items to write about so it isn't so broad, but that's what I have for now.

I ended up choosing this topic because I felt like it was something that girls needed to hear about. And although probably no one will end up reading my paper besides my teacher and maybe a few people in my class, I thought it would be interesting to see the affect that magazines really have on girls in our society today. It's so sad to see the things females are doing to themselves just to try to look "prettier." And although it may seem foolish to starve yourself or spend tons of money on clothes or makeup, can you really blame them? There is so much pressure on women these days to look perfect. And personally, I think it's ridiculous. You see all these women in magazines or on posters that look perfect - no blemishes, the "perfect" size, expensive clothes, etc - but in reality, that is not how they actually are. They're just like you and I - imperfect, but still beautiful. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with being imperfect. That's how we were created. Life isn't a beauty contest. True beauty comes from within.

I just want every girl out there to know that you are beautiful, no matter how old or young you are, no matter what size you are, and no matter how many imperfections you think you have. You are beautiful. Don't let the media tell you otherwise. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Someone sent me this video a while ago and I thought it was perfect for what I'm posting about. It shows the process that a woman goes through, from makeover to photoshop, to be pictured on a billboard. In the end, the girl doesn't even look like the same person that started out in beginning.

You Are Not Forgotten

This past weekend I had the opportunity to hear from the prophet and apostles of my church as I watched General Conference. I always love watching General Conference because it makes me realize the things I need to work on in my life. In addition, it reaffirms the fact that God really is speaking to us and cares about us and the things going on in the world today.

One of my favorite talks from this past conference was by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He spoke about the worth of every single individual on this planet. He specifically brought up four different points to remember if we ever feel like we don't matter. And I'm pretty sure every single one of us has felt like that at some point in our lives, so this information should be extremely valuable to us, especially in those times of loneliness and despair. The four points were:

1) God loves the humble and meek.

It's so easy to let pride slip into our lives, but I think we'll find that as we develop humility, we will be much more receptive to the Spirit and will feel so much closer to our Savior.

2) The Lord entrusts the fulness of His gospel to be proclaimed by the weak.

We don't have to be famous, popular, or talented to be an example and light to those around us. All of us have the ability to spread the word of God. I've found in my life that the more open I am about what I believe, the easier it becomes to share it in the future.

3) No matter your circumstances, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father.

I love this statement. No matter what, no matter how many times you mess up in life, Heavenly Father will not forget you. This is so comforting to me. The most powerful and sacred being in existence loves me. And He loves you. Do not ever forget that. As Pres. Uchtdorf put it, "We are everything to God."

4) What you experience or feel now is not what forever will be.

I love this statement as well. Sometimes I feel like life is going by so slowly, or that my challenges just won't end. I'm not a very patient person when it comes to things like this, but when I look at it with an eternal perspective, I realize how silly I am being. My challenges now will be over before I know it. So I might as well stay positive and enjoy the blessings in my life that I do have, because they are all around me.

I just want to let you know that God loves you. He loves you with a perfect love. We are everything to Him. Absolutely everything. The trials He places in our lives are for our benefit. Pres. Uchtdorf said, "If we do the best we can, all will be well." I know this to be true. The Lord will never forget us. Ever.

Saying Goodbye

Today one of my best friends left to serve a mission for my church for the next two years. I was able to talk to him for the last time on Monday, and even though I haven't seen him for over a month, it was still hard to say goodbye. For the next two years the only form of communication we will have is writing letters to each other.

But what does 'goodbye' really mean? Goodbye implies the end or loss of something: a conversation, an activity, maybe a friendship or relationship, or even the death of a loved one. But after thinking about this for a bit, I realized something.

Goodbye is not the end. It is only just the beginning. The beginning of a new chapter of life. The beginning of growth, learning, and development. The beginning of new friendships and experiences and interests. The beginning of a new you.

Even though at times they may seem hard, goodbyes really aren't that bad after all. And even though I won't be able to see my friend for the next two years, I know that it is completely worth it. It gives me a chance to grow and become a new and better person. In a way, it almost seems refreshing.

People in our lives come and go. I've lost good friends in the past, but when I look back, every single time it gave me a chance to become stronger and meet new people that maybe I never would have. When I left home to go to college, I had to say goodbye to my friends, my family, my bedroom, my home, and so many more things. But like I said before, it was worth it because I know that this is where I am supposed to be.

So even though I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends this week, I am saying hello to new experiences, friendships, and a whole new me. And when I look at it with that perspective, I actually get excited. The future holds so many great things that there's no reason to look back. I only have reason to look forward.

And another thing I've learned is to always stay positive, and keep smiling :)

"It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us."

Learn to Love Learning

Well, it's been exactly a month since I've moved to Utah for college. It's crazy how fast time flies! So much has changed, both for the good and bad, but I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. Because so much has happened these past few weeks, I figured I should share some experiences and things I've learned with you.

First, I've had to learn how to manage my time well. A few weeks ago my roommate put as her status on Facebook: "There are three essentials in college: 1) Get good grades, 2) Have lots of fun, and 3) Get lots of sleep.....You get to choose two of them." At first I completely agreed with this statement, and out of the three the two most important to me were to get good grades and get enough sleep. In fact, the first couple weeks of college I pretty much didn't care if I had a social life. But since then I've realized that having fun in college is important too! You just need to find a balance, and even though getting good grades and sleep may be more important to you than having a social life, I've found that there can be time for all three if you make time. Do what you need to get done for school, have fun, but then make sure that you're still getting the sleep you need to have energy and a clear mind the next day. Since I realized this, I've been trying to allow myself more time for fun, and because of this I've been able to meet new people and share experiences such as playing Just Dance, finding a kitten, renting a taxidermy weasel named Wesley, and many more.


Last Sunday night as my roommates and I were walking back to our apartment, we passed a girl that we knew who was talking on the phone and crying. As soon as we got back to the apartment, my roommate said, "Did you see [girl] crying? We should leave her brownies." Of course I had been sympathetic for the girl, but I wished I thought of something like that first. So we got a plate of brownies and took it to the girl's room and left it on her bed for her to find when she got back. We haven't seen or talked to her since, but I hope we were able to put a smile on her face and let her know that we love her. That was a huge example to me, even though my roommate probably didn't even think twice about it. I need to be actively looking for ways to be kind to and serve others because it really can make a difference. It also made me realize that I'm not alone; everyone has their own struggles and challenges that they are dealing with. So why not help a friend out? Even if you don't know them, one smile or kind word or little act of service can make all the difference and mean the world to them.


Another thing about college that has been different for me is how much I am learning. I feel like I am constantly learning something every minute! With going to class, doing homework (which involves lots and lots of reading...), and just being around new people, I feel like I am intaking so much new information. But it's great! Since I've started college, I've learned to love learning. And I think that's important to being successful. If you don't love learning, then you don't have as much capacity to grow and improve yourself. And who wouldn't want to do that? I've also found that what I'm learning here is a lot more interesting than high school. I felt like I was limited in high school. But here, the sky is the limit. I can do anything that I put my mind to. There are so many classes to choose from, so many people to learn from, and so many new experiences out there. And with the amount that I've learned this past month, I can't imagine what it will be like at the end of this year, or when I graduate in four years.


Also another random thing I've realized, there is no such thing as comfortable shoes. The end. At least not in my closet...


And since I promised, I'll leave you with a quote of the day:
"You can let it harden you or let it soften you. Boiled water hardens eggs and softens carrots."

Amazing Pianist

So the other day my roommate showed me this video of her friend's brother, and I (being the alright pianist that I am) just thought this was amazing. Take a look:

Notice how he has to use both feet to do both of the pedals on each piano. Cool, huh?

I also decided that every time I post I am going to try to leave you with a quote. So here's the quote for today:

"You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you."

A Little About Me

Before I post anything else, I figure I should tell you a little about myself so you can get to know me.

I was born in Oceanside, California, on November 17, 1992. I moved to Arizona when I was about six months old and have lived there ever since. I am currently attending Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. I plan to major in journalism, and I would love to work for a magazine some day. The classes I am currently taking are Book of Mormon, General Psychology, Calculus 1, Writing & Rhetoric, and Mass Communications & Society.

In high school, I was a part of the yearbook staff for 3 years. That's basically what inspired me to pursue journalism as a career. My junior year I was a copy editor, which I really enjoyed, and that's when I decided I wanted to be an editor for a major publication some day. However, my senior year I was the design editor, and I completely loved it! After that, I decided that what I really wanted to do was design layouts for a magazine.

Now for some favorites. My favorite color is (and almost always has been) blue. I love Italian food. I enjoy playing the piano, and I wish I could write my own music. I love chocolate, peanut butter, and ice cream. I like a lot of different music, but I cannot stand most country music. Sorry to those of you who like it. We can still be friends :)

Another thing about me: I'm not very talkative. I like listening to others and learning from them. Those of you who already know me have probably found this to be true. I feel like I can express myself much easier through writing, which is probably one of the reasons why I first got interested in journalism. That is what I hope to accomplish with this blog. To help you, encourage you, and share a little piece of myself with you.

By the way, any and all comments are appreciated :)

5 Characteristics Of A Great Learner

Well, this is my first blog post ever! For my Writing & Rhetoric class, we are required to create a blog and publish about 20 posts throughout the semester, so here we go!

My first post will focus on a speech President Henry B. Eyring gave in a 1997 devotional at Brigham Young University titled "A Child of God". He emphasized the importance of learning and receiving a good education, and talked about the following five characteristic behaviors of great learners:

1) Welcome correction.

Without correction, how are we supposed to improve ourselves? How are we supposed to learn and grow? We must take in all the correction we can get, not only from those around us, but also ourselves. But we must remember that the most important correction we can receive will come from our Heavenly Father. Not only will He correct us with love, but He will strengthen us and help us apply that correction in our lives. We must develop a desire for correction, and seek it frequently. For this reason, as President Eyring stated, "...you can appreciate getting back one of your papers when it is covered with jottings in red ink." Remember that learning is much more important than the grade written at the top of your page.

2) Keep commitments.
President Eyring said, "...what all great learners have is a deep appreciation for finding better rules and a commitment to keeping them." This is so true. We must develop high expectations for ourselves, and keep the commitments that we make to ourselves, our peers, and our Father in Heaven. Heavenly Father requires exactness of us. How else are we supposed to become like him? That is the purpose of his plan, and He has made it possible for us to know his rules through the scriptures and from our prophets. However, it is up to us whether we will follow his rules, and if we do we will receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost, which will make it much easier for us to continue to keep our commitments and discern good from evil, which is the key to learning.

3) Work hard.
As long as we are working, we are also learning. The purpose of going to school or work should be to learn and develop new skills, not to receive good grades or a high paycheck. President Eyring said, "For the child of God who has enough faith in the plan of salvation to treat it as reality, hard work is the only reasonable option." Many, in fact, most of us do not realize how short life really is, and what we do here in this life determines how we will live for the rest of eternity. Therefore, we must always be in the service of our God.

4) Help other people.
Great learners help other people. What we can learn from other people will be invaluable. No one on this earth knows everything, but everyone knows something that you don't. So open yourself up, and find out what that thing is. You must remember that every person you will ever meet is a child of God, and deserves your love and service. I promise that if you take the time, you can learn something from every person you interact with, especially those whom you serve. President Eyring stated, "Sometimes the greatest kindness we could receive would be to have someone expect more from us than we do, because they see more clearly our divine heritage."

5) Expect resistance and overcome it.
If something is easy, you are probably not learning from it. Yes, you are going face discouragement in your life often, but don't let it bring you down! Overcome it! Life is a test. Have hope. Go to the Lord for strength. Without Him, we are nothing. President Eyring told the story of his mother, who died after suffering with cancer for a decade. President Kimball spoke at her funeral and said, "Some of you may wonder what great sins Mildred committed to explain her having to endure such suffering. It had nothing to do with sin. It was that her Heavenly Father wanted to polish her a little more." I know this to be true. Our Heavenly Father loves us and wants what is best for us. If that means placing challenges in our paths and stepping out of our comfort zone a little bit, then so be it. As President Eyring said, "He will give us no test without preparing the way for us to pass it."

I hope this was in some way helpful to at least one of you. Everyone has the potential to become a better learner. But it won't all come at once. It takes time. Pick one of the above characteristics that you feel like you could improve in yourself, and work on it. Once you feel comfortable with that characteristic, pick a different one, until you have gone through them all. It will benefit you more than you can imagine. Follow the advice of President Eyring: "The time to start is now...Do what you have been prompted to do. Do it now."